I used to be an altar boy back in the day. I never missed church. I said my prayers, ate my vitamins and was good to my parents. I had a boring, unquestioning life and a flat, uncreative future ahead of me.

Then I heard George Carlin for the first time. It changed my life forever.

I rank Carlin as one of the three people responsible for who I am today. My father gave me values and an idea of what family really means. J.R.R. Tolkien gave me a love for the written word and a curiosity about the worlds not yet created. George Carlin gave me all I ever needed to combat authority and to do it laughing.

George was a wordsmith. He took the American version of English and eviscerated it with wit and a steady dose of truth. He called bullshit on every institution that need to be called out. He was relentless in the pursuit of truth in laughter. He challenged the status quo with nothing other than a microphone and a few choice words. He could use profanity as a delicate spice, flavoring his routines with a never-ending stream of true-isms bracketed by language that bit into the soft, weak underbelly of conservatives. He was a skinny, cranky ass with a mic and I loved him. He told me it was okay to be a rebel. It was my duty to ask why. It was my birthright to challenge power.

As a balding. pony-tailed smart ass adult, all I can do is thank him for letting me know that nothing is sacred and laughing at the short time we have on this mudball is all that matters in the end.

Oh, one more thing….

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits!

It looks like the crew that runs a drug operation on Baltimore Street at Robinson Street is getting broken up the hard way.

Back in May, one of the crew that hangs out in that area tried to shoot his mother in the head and even popped a few caps at the cops before getting caught. He will be doing hard time very soon. A few days later, police arrested three juvies on the block in a buy back setup. One of those arrested had 32 gel caps of heroin in his hat. Four down.

Early this morning, police shot and killed 21 year old Bryant Worrell after responding to an assault in progress call on Robinson Street. Worrell resisted a police pat down and was discovered to be carrying a 38-caliber handgun in is waistband. Officers stated that Worrell refused to drop the weapon and was shot. He collapsed a block away on Lombard Street and was pronounced dead on the scene.

Various news reports state that Worrell was developmentally disabled and, of course, his mom was on all of the local stations with the “My Baby Didn’t Hurt Nobody” defense. He was a good boy, right mom? Well, the Maryland Case Search and the Baltimore Sun paint a different picture.

From The Baltimore Sun:

Worrell’s criminal record shows that he was on probation; his convictions include a series of traffic violations, including driving a vehicle on a sidewalk in August 2007, as well as drug possession in 2006, burglary in 2006 and theft in 2005.

He was also charged but not convicted of giving false statements to police. An armed robbery charge lodged in September 2004 was dropped the next year.

It is a shame that this guy had to buy the farm but I think that the cops are as tired as the rest of us of the criminal element and their associates.

It sure does look like the Robinson Street area is turning a corner and becoming safer thanks to the great work of the Southeast District Police. There are some great people in that part of the ‘hood that I am sure are breathing a little easier thanks to the events of the past two months. It still pains me that pockets of vermin like this still prey on the neighborhood. I still get sad every time I see the “For Sale” sign on the Sower’s house just two blocks from this morning’s events. I still think a lot more can be done but change is in the wind and the trash will blow away soon.

Ok, it is 10:15 on a Wednesday night and there are still at least six little children running wild on my block. One would think a proper parent would have their little snowflakes safely tucked into bed or perhaps have them winding down with a book or warm milk. These parents…

Fireworks, loud music and a 10:16pm visit from the freakin’ ice cream truck.

The only thing I keep telling myself is that the two loudest and most brutally stupid of the kids, their screaming toddler sister and thug dating teenage sister will be moving to the Harford/Glenmore area in a week with their fat, rude father and mother who needed an explanation on how a computer can run while it is not plugged into the wall.

A typical day with the idiot family starts when I get home from work around 5 and one of them is flying up and down the block on his bike just screaming some incoherent gibberish. I then chase the other terrible twin away from my poor tree as he attempts to yank yet another branch off of it. Meanwhile, the littlest of the terrorists has shat herself and dropped another Mr. Softee, her third of the day, on her shirt along with a baby bottle full of grape soda. The teenage daughter just screams into her Nextel that “dat beeotch Shaniqua best not step to her or her girls will roll her ass”.

Where’s mom? She is in the house making more peanut butter and Wonder Bread sandwiches for her brood to rip apart all over the sidewalk.

This goes on until around 9 when dad gets home, beats everybody up while screaming at anyone who looks. He never parks legally, always double parks and blasts 92Q really loud with the bass set to 1906 San Francisco Quake level. Did I mention he works in law enforcement?

He gets to drinking and throwing empties in the gutter.

Mom gets to eating more, conversing with the chain smoking Section 8 lady that lives next to her and screaming at her kids. The kids finally disappear around 11pm. Mom goes in around 11:30 and dad passes out on the steps, snoring loudly until 1am.

I worry that the peace will not last and that the new neighbors will be worse if that is possible. God, I hope my house sells soon.

Thanks to Jen for pointing that out.

Peter’s Anti-Spam blew up and I finally got around to fixing it.

You can leave comments now (not that anyone actually reads this crap).

LEEEROYYY JENKINNNS!!!, originally uploaded by extraheavymarcellus.

Amazing and nerdy things can be found in the 3rd World.

During our ill-fated trip to Belize, the only thing that brought a true smile to our faces was this sign for a crappy apartment building in San Pedro.

I guess you just run into the lobby and hope to not be slaughtered.